Disappointment

I find myself more and more accepting that Love doesnt exist for me, and by love i mean romantic love...not family love cause i get lots of that home. But im lonely....so very lonely...everyone i encounter is so shallow...so to the point...wanna hook up? How big is your cock? Top or bottom? ....where are the long term relationship seeking gays in Trinidad?!! Am i the only who wants to be romanced, to be romantic...to work towards a life together instead of a slam bam or worse the I love you but im still going to get married to a chick and have kids cause that is what is expected of me....we can still be friends after aka fuckbuddies....I hate this world and i really hate being gay....I thought i was okay with it but time is floating away and ill end up old and fucking alone cause all these pricks out here are too coward to love ...