The wolf howls....

I'm frustrated, drained emotionally and physically, i want to depart this earth, i look in the mirror , what i see makes me sick....I'm disgusted with myself...I'm so low right now , that thoughts of suicide is back in my head.This blog was just a way for me to bicker about my bf, but i realized that i don't get the time to come here and it wasn't helping me in any way..now as i sit here- 2 am Saturday morning- i need an outlet...someone to talk to ...someway to drain my system of the poison that lurks within it. The same poison that I've been trying to get rid of since i have known myself.I had a nightmare, a surreal nightmare of a memory lost long ago, now for some reason i just vomited it up and it swirls around me, causing me to cold sweat , to cry, to be angry, to hate myself....to the beginning, i have to completely thread back to the beginning and purge my soul- for once in my life its time to be blatantly honest.To free myself of the chains i created. To finally be whole...to be healed....